If we really want to have the happiness that enriches our lives and the people we love and respect, we may be able to communicate with them, not only how we feel but who we are and what we believe. Our loved ones, extended family, colleagues and peers also need to be heard and understood so that we can have good quality relationships that are essential components of a satisfying and happy life.
The Hearing is not always exclusive. There is always a background wash and sound of various acts that occur when we try to make a call. Therefore, the hearing is idle. Truly listening is work, and we must take an active part in that process, or it will fail. In order to understand what other people or individuals are really saying, in a conversation, you have to adjust the background noise and make the conscious effort really listen to what is said.
We bring all our own content to conversations. As soon as someone begins to talk, our minds jump into what our response might be. Sometimes we put our own "spin" on what is said by moving our perception and value into our thoughts before the other person has finished speaking. This is called conditional hearing. It's wrong to assume you know who another person is trying to say. They may not feel as you do about the subject. If you emphasize what you think, you are going to misunderstand, or give false and inaccurate answers to the other person. When you think the people you spend time talking to are very important in your life. do you really want to misunderstand them? Because life is enough and we are always busy and hurry, we look for evidence of what someone is saying and speed up the process. Their words will be "lost in translation" because we can not slow down and just listen.
The Ten-Minute Plan
Getting your thoughts to slow down is not easy but you can practice. Try to choose someone in your life that you really want to talk to and set aside ten minutes on a particular day to pay close attention to this person. Do not let your mind slip while they speak. Focus on the content of the words and NOT what your answer will be – just hear what is said. Someone wants you to know something, and they deserve your attention. Relax, lean to them and receive what they say. Make some unusual moves, touch your hand or arm, if you want, and show that you are really listening. Repeat this process once a day with those you are concerned about in a few weeks.
This simple plan, with exercises, will help you learn to make an effort to hear conversations accurately. It will become easier and become a habit. Your spouse, children, friends, extended family, peers and colleagues will be very grateful for courtesy, attention and informative answers. The respect you have shown to them will be returned to you. Communication will be greatly improved for everyone, and you have enhanced and enriched the quality of your relationship with those you want, love and respect. We can not be happy without being able to communicate with significant people in our lives. Efforts to improve ourselves, to be open and free to our loved ones, are a big part of finding true satisfaction.