So your one … now what? How do you learn to find happiness in this unexpected hopeless mind and body? Do not you want anyone to give you a happy card and you could pay it and find instant happiness? Well, me too! Unfortunately, it's just not that easy. Finding happiness in your position is almost as difficult as finding happiness in your financial situation. It takes a lot of work and dedication.
What I've found is that it starts here, right now. With you. If you are reading this you are making a good start. When looking for information that helps us improve our lives, it means that we believe somewhere deep down as far as possible. After years of unsuccessful relationships, I failed to cope with what caused my relationships and just run to the next; I finally had to take a long look deep inside me. Certainly it's easier to blame everyone for your mistakes in life, but until we take responsibility for our things, we will constantly be in the same weak pattern, pointing our fingers and crying out how the world is so unfair. One of my favorite movies is Alice in Wonderland, when she tries to get through the door but finds she's too big, she only monsters to find out that now she has become too small to get the key to the door andries so much about this misgiving that she literally writes herself on the other side with her own tears. Sometimes that's what it takes for us.
Sometimes we try so hard to change and accept what person / relationship we are in losing sight of what we were actually and after and that's the key to our personal happiness that lies just outside this damn annoying animals!
I did this myself for many years. I could not figure out what was wrong with me. Well, of course, I could not cause I had never set time to ask myself, to sift through the ruins of broken hearts and tattered relationships and find a common denominator.
The first thing is first -Skoot and think about all your relationships in the past, what did they have in common? What happened to them? What did they fail? What was what made you happy with a certain person and what made you sad, mad, etc. with each one. Write it down. When you do this you can start to see the pattern appear. What I discovered was every time I found that I had found a person who had "what I wanted" I always enjoyed the relationship. When I found a guy who treated me well, with love and respect, I would run out and cheat on him. But when I found a guy who treated me like crap, I was sanctified for life. I have seen this common scenario with a lot of women and men. When I put the pieces together, I realized that the reason I did it was because my own self-esteem was on the toilet. When I had a good boy, I was spoiled deeply by the fact that I did not know that I was good enough to be with someone who was good for me, so I would drive it out so cheating.
When I had a d-bag that had treated me like crap, I only reflected how I felt about myself, because I'm not worth being mad, but that's how I can carry myself.
Second – I had to redefine who I thought I was inside (not so easy). I still work on this every day. I choose to be alone now because I do not feel like I've been successful in this technology, but it took me 32 years to get this mess and it will take some time to get out of it and doubt it if I will always make full recovery. I have had to teach myself to be aware of the signs and self-esteem that tells me I'm sucking. I sat down and wrote a list of things I would and would not put in contact. Personally I'm drawn to an emotionally inaccessible person. Why? Because I have a strong tendency to be emotionally inaccessible to me. And when I get in touch with an inaccessible person, it confirms my own feelings of self-certification. After learning this about myself, I wrote a list of the new boundaries and hung it in my bathroom just above the sink so every day I brushed my teeth I would read my boundaries and remind me that I'm a valuable person and I deserve unconditional love and respect.
I began to notice, but when I would meet a man and he broke one or more of these limits, I would see it as a red flag and let him go no matter how much I thought I liked him. With this process of elimination I have saved many tears and heart disease .. and guess what? I felt safe and valuable.
I think it's very important if you're one of those people who have constantly fought relationships, to make this personal file. Discover what within these repeated mistakes, and then set new goals for the future. And do not just write them down, perform these goals with all potential spouses. You will soon see that your new filter will defiantly help you to make a better relationship with others, and you will feel better about yourself.
There are a lot of scumbags out there I do not want to lie and choose to accept someone who meets all your requirements, can and will be difficult but just think about it this way when you find someone who meets your expectations for you , you will have engaged in long lasting and lasting partnership with someone who truly appreciates you as much as you evaluate yourself.
And in the meantime, you will have a better understanding and sense of yourself, knowing that you are a valuable person, who is very defiantly making your position exactly become a deputy. When we feel empowered and self-sufficient, we find happiness. Take the time to relate to yourself, to nurture yourself and to love yourself and you will find happiness more than any relationship because you made it yourself and it's deep inside you and no one can take it away!
Happy solitude !!!