25. SEPTEMBER 2003, Thursday, was the day, even in pain of injury, I could not yet declare that God gave me a gift.
I was near my oldest daughter of a sports carnival at school. It was only three days after my first marriage had collapsed. I was in deep pain, but I still had responsibility to fulfill as a father.
But something else was also working within me that had been in bed for thirteen years; something I had not experienced before. It was the power of the rationality of Christ in me. Suddenly, almost as it was overnight, I went live a reality I had not even thought about.
I like to move back home briefly to pick up a few things to give away. I was carried by the Holy Ghost. The law of giving away these things – and not for approval or gratitude or thanks – I knew I knew I was exactly what I was supposed to do.
Finally, I was giving away what I could not hold to accomplish what I could never lose.
I had been Christians for all these thirteen years and never thought that this was the true life of Christ. At one time usually, in the worst time of my life, I was given a precious gift that I could not get another. I had to run into the abyss without the hope of saving me to understand the very promise of Christ's life. If that's not a good news, I do not know what's.
This precious gift I refer to is a gift to understand this: the more we give of the heart that does not look back, happier God gives us.
We can understand this differently. Imagine materialism and spiritualism as opposites. The more life we give one, the greater the death is in the other. The more we desire to keep things in this world, the less material we have to be. But the more we give in this life, the more God gives us in this world of his coming. And this world truly goes into our world with peace, hope and joy when we give our lives away for others.
Two things that must necessarily be stated are that the exercises of giving away life were persistent through the early days, but the truth has been a factor in my life since I have found it impossible to give away. Fortunately, God reminds us that it is okay that we have not yet reached perfection – and this standard is not required of us. But we are still blessed to desire.