Have you ever wondered why some seem to be so much happier than others? You may have noticed that some seem happy no matter what happens to them. They have a smile for you every day. Their lives can be less than ideal and they still seem content and happy.
And then there are others who seem miserable no matter what happens to them. Nothing seems to make them very happy and usually feeling unhappy with their lives.
And of course everything is in between.
Well, clearly, it is explained. Happy people are not necessarily having a more magnificent life. They have not necessarily had to suffer less tragedy, trauma or drama. They have more happiness.
Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of "The Happiness Happiness", suggests that we all have happiness which is 50% of our happiness. It's quite a lot – especially if you have the lowest happiness. If you do, do not worry – this is just a bad news here.
The good news is that only 10% of our happiness stems from our good lives. So if you run Masserati, you are on the beach and travel in first class, you could only 10% happier than anyone living in poverty (if you have the same happiness).
The good news is that 40% of our happiness is entirely under our control. That 40% is based on the scheme we do to increase our happiness. This is great news!
Good, good, good news is that we also know what deliberate activities happy people do to keep them happy. Some of those I've mentioned in another blog: 10 simple steps to happiness but here are a few more:
You can increase your happiness by
• Offer help to others. This could help you help people, talk to your lonely neighbor, volunteers, stay there for your friends or even practice random kindness with a foreigner.
• Finding better ways to deal with stress. Happy people have as much stress. They just have better ways to deal with it. Try yoga, meditation or thinking. Even try to tell you "I can handle this" rather than telling you what you can not and you're messy and you'll never go through this.
• Start being a good friend. Invest in relationships and look at the return on investment. Important relationships are one of the best buffers against stress and emotional harmony. Having someone's support near you also reduces the way stress hormones affect your body.
• Set some goals that are consistent with your values, and they are small and possible, and then hold them. When you think you've made your goals small enough, see if you can do that little. When you have it smaller, do it less again. If you do this a few times, you just get the right size. You want to be able to get it easily. -It also makes it easier to keep up with.
• Practice be grateful and positive. "Fake it before you do it" may be your motto, but if you fake it enough it will eventually become a habit and start filling it 40% with some happy interference.