Why should you listen to your partner's feedback and why should it apply to you?

You and your spouse are likely to end up in conflict and arguments as you teach them rather than taking responsibility (by default) for the situation. You also tend to disagree what they tell you about yourself. "You do not know me better than I know yourself," says you to defend yourself. But the truth about it is, it's very likely that you deny and reject yourself the qualities, behaviors and attitudes you do not want to see in yourself, which are part of "who you are" , attitudes and behaviors that in some way or otherwise contribute to the conflict, disagreement and argument that you and your spouse experience.

Why do you reject them? Because you want to see you in one light, not another; to believe in the image you have created yourself over the years, not in the "real ones". Often, if you are not aware, you do not even know "real" (though you are sure you do it!).

Therefore, you may be angry and disagree when your spouse dares to give you feedback on how he sees you, especially when the reminder refers to "negative" elements that you ten deny in yourself).

As a result, you emphasize your claim that your partners are wrong, you know perfectly well who you are, you either listen to their comments or take time to think about it.

Unfortunately, when you do not accept the opinion, you can proceed with the same harmful behavioral pattern that has led you to harm your relationships. Then, repeat the same self-esteem behavior and make sure that all brakes must be with your partner. As a result, you will not find anything for you to change and improve.

But to build and maintain a successful and enjoyable close relationship, you may want to take it on your own to be open to what feedback your spouse may give you. Such feedback can be of great value as you try to grow and change what needs a real change.

Therefore, rather than blaming your partner to criticize you and trying to "teach" who you are, listen carefully: is he / she right? Could it be that you have definitely been in trouble until now? And if so, is there something you can do to change – for the sake of the current federal or other people who could observe?

It may be courageous to accept – or at least listen carefully – what your partner has to say about you. But courage is vital for your own growth and development. It will help you better understand how you "make" relationships; how you come across; how you think, feel and behave – sometimes in a way that, without your awareness, boomerang back on you and in touch. Such courage enables you to become more aware of how you see yourself in relationships and how you can damage yourself and your relationships until now.

Being willing to contemplate the possibility that it could truly be a thing about yourself, you do not know, and by developing your self-awareness you will get to understand you better, you will be empowered to build and maintain effective intelligence.


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