Terrible things happen to people every day. For some people, it seems that all they do is look at problems and difficulties. Is this "bad luck" or is something called "victims mode" active.
First, realize that there is a huge difference between what is happening to you and how you can influence yourself. You are the one who determines whether the event depends on your power or allows you to take action.
How do you know you've delivered your authority?
The best mark is how often you accept responsibility for your thoughts and actions. It does not matter what happened, not even if it was the most horrible thing that could happen to anyone, then you have a choice of how to respond. If you continually blame the "event" then you're stuck in a victim.
Losing someone who is integral in your life with death or abandonment is devastating. If there have been years, it's time to let go and continue. Easier said than done? Oh yes. But it must be done.
If you are always thinking or saying, "If only." Then you're stuck. It happened. As hard as it is, deal with emotions. Scream, yell, cry and drop.
Now you're confused with discovering the strength within you. As hard as it is, you need to find it. You really have no choice if you want to live in peace.
Next time you find yourself blaming the last wound, or someone else for something related to your wound, ask yourself the following questions:
What is my attitude? Am I angry, sad or pessimistic? Did I do what I said I would? What are three features or thoughts that I could have taken that would have bought different results? I like being with me? (If you drink too much medicine, have sex, shop, gamble, scream, yell, cry or … the answer is "No, I do not like to be with me.")
Now choose behavior or attitude. It does not matter which one. Change it. Get a book, surf the internet, find a choice. Then do it. Most of the changes are quite simple, though not easy.
What happens to you may be unavoidable. How you see it is totally in your hands and heart.