When I started to feel like the world is too heavy for my major shoulders, I try to think of all the people who continue to live wonderfully well, despite very damaging circumstances. How do they do that? How can they still laugh and play in the midst of an incredibly stressful life? The answer to this question is not difficult. True happiness comes from within and inner joy is rarely influenced by external events.
How will you be happy? The first, and often not so obvious, step is starting to love yourself. My brother, Catholic priest and religious professor, once told me that "real love requires consent." So, if you really want to start loving you, it means you accept the fact that you are not perfect. People make a bad choice all the time. Really happy people always find courage to recover from their mistakes. If you are very serious about finding true happiness, it is important that you accept the fact that you are only a person. From time to time you have to confuse things.
Genuine happiness also comes from pleasure. If you're really happy with your job, what you look like, your family, your friends, the place you live, your car and everything else in and around your personal space, do you already know the answer to the question "How do I really feel happiness? "
This journey we call life is really about learning the difference between right and wrong, trying and failing and even winning and losing. These are things that happen to us almost as often as we breathe. In many of our lives, failure has become as necessary as air. But these mistakes should never stop us from being happy.
Really happy people are usually not about their mistakes. Instead, they tend to look a failure from an optimistic point of view. Optimists believe that failure is just a temporary shock, and that the causes are defined in one case. Then optimism will focus on and plan the problem. They often use technology called "positive reinterpretation." In other words, they will probably interpret negative experiences in a way that helps them to learn and grow. People who embrace this optimistic perspective are seldom deeply affected by failure, as they perceive it as a challenge, and they will try harder.
Genuine happiness is not about driving the hottest car or living in the largest house. In real life, true happiness has very little to do with the accumulation and ownership of material things. Contrary to what you might think, do not go for the fastest, strongest, bold, or even the best anticipation of the prizes in life. Why? That's because each of us has our own definition of happiness. For a writer, true happiness can mean creating the best sales story. Happiness for a professional basketball novice can mean getting a newcomer of the year awards. However, for real betrayers, real happiness could be as simple as getting a hot meal.
Although true happiness is not about having all the best things in the world, it's all about doing your best and making the most of each situation. Until you learn to smile on your own mistakes and say you'll be better next time, strong will and determination will never burn you. True happiness requires the will to stand up and try again, especially when you get knocked down.
Learning to take care of yourself and your own fault is the first step toward finding real happiness. And once you've learned to accept you, there will not be a lot of stretch for you to accept others. Remember, love is in fact about approval and when you know how to accept others, you must also be approved. One of the unchanged rules of life is the fact that you always get what you put out.
"But what is happiness, except a simple harmony between man and life he leads?" – Albert Camus