Confirmation or Attention from
Another Person. It can be physical like – pat on your back, touch, or handshake
. It can also be psychological
like – word of praise, compliment, even "hello!" It
may even be the time with the man.
Physical and psychological attention is absolutely important
to humans. We all need it and we need it every day.
However, each person has to have a different need for confirmation.
If you view it on a scale of 0 to 100,
is a small number of people who are low on scale. These are
the people who scored from others, Hermians
with us. However, the majority of people are quite far
up to this scale.
The need for confirmation is something that is being programmed
into us. Children and children have a great need for physical
recognition. You can see what is shown by
they reach you, how they want to be celebrated and
boasted. Studies have shown that infants who denied this physical recognition can suffer both physical and emotional rates.
When children develop language usage, they start to
also need psychological attention. I'm sure you've got
experienced children coming to you, with something they've been drawn or made to look for your praise song.
As we grow into adulthood, we become more complex.
but our need for confirmation does not go away, we
just look for it differently.
We sent out all sorts of tags just for confirmation
. We always remember success –
"I managed to reduce my golf shortage" – "My boss
asked me to take more responsibility" or – "Our child has
just passed his exams."
] We will take other steps to meet our need for confirmation.
Do you remember the television show Tremor about the usual
customers in the Boston bar? In the signature theme of the show
there was a line that seemed something like – "Everyone goes there
everyone knows your name!" The characters in Cheers not
Just go to Cheers to drink; They know that when they walk
in the door, then the person behind the bar
will probably recognize them.
I was talking to a participant in one of my courses and he
was telling me all about his role as president of his local government
. All he had to do, the newsletter to
wrote, the contests to organize and meet
attendees. I asked him if he was paid for it. "Oh no," the answer was, "I do it because I like it."
Of course, he does it because he loves it and without a doubt
is a lot of work and takes a lot of his time. However,
the recognition he receives from this is massive.
I have known elderly parents who exaggerate sickness just until
have their family to visit and spend time with them; Those
just want recognition.
Man's need for recognition is so strong that they
sometimes may feel bad to get this recognition. I am
sure you are aware of children who are ill at school
just for attention. Well, adults do it too.
The person in the group who gives you all sorts of problems
that are often difficult to understand, can only search for
The people you manage need confirmation and spending
quality time with them is the way to do it. Just to be clear
– Confirmation is not just about promoting people; it
about spending time listening and talking to them.