I know you might have heard this before it actually happens to be repeated. And I have never delved in this respect.
This comes up a lot and it is very important. So listen to.
You do not have to make yourself happy to influence the change. You do not have to milk your stalk to continue.
I have a client who is very smart and really committed to working with her content. The kind of customer that a coach loves to work with.
She's afraid of being content because she's equivalent to being voluntary. Exceptions material and complacent are not the same; They are not even in the same spectrum.
She believes that if she allows herself to be content with somewhere in her life – her job, for example – it will do her independently. If she's sure she'll never get better. In her mind, content = self = fixed.
You can see where it goes, as she constantly reminds of what she's applying for to make sure she's good and unhappy. After all, how is she going to grow and improve and be happy with her career if she is not happy?
Where? Yes, read it a few times if you need.
She primarily searches for things that are "false" to add content. But she makes it so much harder than it has to be.
The founder of Bruce Di Marsico, says that the only reason we are always happy is because we think we should be. He has also been acknowledged by saying that humans are the only animals that grab their own nest to make themselves go. I do not know if he actually said the last statement, but it matters.
Why not just choose better and go up and go on your own, no crap necessary? No need to justify it with, "Look? My job sucks so bad that I have to go." You can change your mind and you can always allow yourself to want what you want, no question.
Or "I hate my job so much that I have to find something else right away." This type of self-esteem never encourages the real level. It always comes back, in fact.
Or like my client, you do not have to do a mental search for all the negative things in your life to find something to fix. Just start where you are and do it even better. Try to go from good to great if you want to change something rather than waste time and energy looking for what sucks.
Because you always find what you're looking for. And being unhappy to be happy does not make the trip very enjoyable.