It's almost summer, and we're officially at Pride Season. Along with the hotter months comes, for dear men, anxiety is about "the beach ready" for our bodies.
Part of this is fun; It is a good incentive to encourage us to achieve a better form and it can be rewarding to have a sense of "belonging" in the gay male community by having a good body. It can be a healthy community ideal to see who can have the best, healthy diet and who can exercise in many ways that pay off in good body. But there can also be many aspects to this, which I work with my clients in a person in my office. This season can cause feelings of low self-esteem if your body is not exactly what you want to be. The period may increase the pressure on you to be part of a larger, dear cultural norm of body image, and we must face this with great self-control and criticism.
Wikipedia has a great description of the Adonis Complex, with the link below. But I think a vastly rough area exists between a healthy social tradition of good food and physical body movement, a serious psychological condition. Many gay men fall somewhere in the middle, and most of us need to remind us of a few things to help deal with it.
To make the most of "Season of Shirtless" I recommend the following methods for my client:
1. First of all, accept who you are: You are NOT your body. You are a three-dimensional person, with many different behaviors and elements that make you wonderful and interesting. How close you are to your body's fitness magazine has little to do with your success in life or how happy you are; there is only one factor. It's not good to hate you and beat yourself for not looking like a timing. Love you first, "warts and everything", then go on the changes you want with confidence and hope and joy.
2. First of all: If you have a good body and you like this, go to it; relax and evaluate it. But if you don't, you need to be realistic about what it would take to achieve it. You may not have genetics, age, time to exercise or the opportunity to get the exact body you want. Emphasize overall health by working with a doctor to achieve the best health you can you can; do not focus solely on appearance.
3. Have a plan: If you want to embrace a weight loss program or a body sculpture, do it with realistic goals and in consultation with qualified professionals who can help you. These are certainly your doctor, who can discuss realistic and safe weight loss. It can include a personal trainer, if you have the time and money to get one or trust books / magazines if you need lessons and lessons. A therapist can help you with subjective (thinking patterns) and behavioral problems (real-life actions), self-motivation, and self-esteem assessment.
4. Strive for balance: If you want a better body, you need to balance this by having a good career, safe / comfortable home, adequate leisure activities, good relationships, good finances and other requirements your resources time, energy and money. Make sure your efforts to improve your body are in the right place and do not conflict with other important areas of your life that need attention.
5. Keep a perspective: Remember that marriage is exceptionally important (thread?) About youth and beauty. We do not have to follow this, except to the extent that we want to . Youth is inevitably floating; fitness and health should be a lifelong focus. There is a difference. Focus on healthy and happy first, otherwise aesthetics.
6. Keep Priority: Recently on the beach, I saw an attractive guy with a wonderful body – smoking! If you work out, eat right and then threaten you with smoking, drinking or drinking in excess, you will be beautiful on the outside, but unhealthy inside. Not a good combination. Consider all the packages that make you feel good, look good and be good about your inner health. Take part in any debauchery in relatively small doses of "specific hedonism" and apply compensation when you forget some ideas (send me an email for more information on work on damages I do to my clients).
Some were supposed to be the time to enjoy what nature gives us. Live in gratitude that we can enjoy the sun, water, warmth, and compassion to be with others. These are enough; "the way you look" is just the icing on the cake – or rather, the peanut butter on the celery. Watch these carbohydrates.
For help with how you feel about yourself and how to improve it, I am here for you – either personally consulting or by phone or email consultation (outside of Southern California).
Wikipedia Link to Adonis Complex: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adonis_Complex .
Success Story: You Go, Go-Go Boy!
My client, "Nick", was a very serious technician in aviation. Yes, he was actually a rocket scientist. But the school year in the cold New England campus had left him a little too heavy and with a very advanced mind and an undeveloped body that went through many years of schooling on coffee and whatever he could find. His career went well and he was in good contact, in a comfortable home. But he just wanted once more: a little brawn to go with the brain. His goal was to dance on a box in the club, like Charlie's partner, who "managed" as a local migrant. In the treatment, I helped Nick define some realistic short-term goals, referring him to a gay-savvy physician who could advise on the physical goals, and helped Nick be interested and focused on what he was trying to achieve. Nick made a plan, and most of the mornings before joining an airline company, Nick, were some kind of exercise: plots, Pilates, cardio, swimming. He used each one, and a diverse habit never became old. Over time, work paid. Nervous and worried, he showed to be a good boy in a new club (there is always a new company, right?) And to his surprise he got the job. Working and his relationships prompted him to take too many hours to work at the club, but the opportunity to finally live his dream of dancing on the box after becoming the first scientist with ammunition made Nick a very well-balanced guy who made him happy and proud .
He learned that with the help of others, personally and professionally, when he looked at something in the short and long term, much success could be achieved.
For Nick, his brain's balance with some brawn made him feel independent in all areas of his life. And learning the skills of self-help can help you … Have the life you want!
( Look at my new book in the book, "Autism: Have the Life You Want!", Come SOON